Just over a year ago, still mourning the very recent loss of my feisty 18-year-old cat, Christmas did not hold the dancing enchantment that it usually does for me. It’s now “next Christmas” and snow or no snow, I feel bits of magic gathering in the air. This blog is about loss and a very special book and hope. Here’s what I wrote last year...
It was a disheartening thought in that, more often than not, I navigate happily through life on heartstrings. Then my cousin Jane sent me a photo of her beautiful daughter Quin visiting Santa. Quin turned ten on New Year’s Day and is beginning to wonder, which reminded me of an unusual book I read each year in those special, glittering days before Christmas. The ritual, forgotten this year, is to wait until the fresh green tree has been maneuvered into the perfect place in the living room, each special ornament has been unwrapped and, sparkling with memory, hung on the tree…and that final trip to the Post Office has been made. I then put on my favorite carols, light every candle in the room and with a large, wicked glass of spiked eggnog at hand, curl up with The Flight of the Reindeer by Robert Sullivan.

Every year, when a friend tells me their son or daughter is beginning to wonder, I dust off one of my stash and send it off to them. That little tradition began not long after I found the books when my friend Maud told me her son Billy had arrived home from school that week very upset over remarks his teacher had made about Santa. The concerned parents had a huddle over what exactly to tell their trusting child and then wise dad explained that we all reach a point when we must decide whether or not to “believe”. He went on to say that some choose to stop believing in what cannot be proven, while others, and in this he included himself, know within their hearts they will always believe.
So, here I sit thinking about this magical book and loss, and the choices we make and I begin to cry -- in a good way – because I can feel that familiar ache of joy within my heart and I remember that…I believe. Such a lovely gift…because the sun shines brighter, the flowers smell sweeter and the people around me seem so much kinder. Happy New Year…I’m looking forward to next Christmas.
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Wishing you peace, love and light this season and in the year to come. E. England
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